to be determined

ive mulling this joke over in my head for a few days between watching playoff baseball and playing vitura tennis late into the night about the definition of funny. now im about to officially put it down and perhaps even crack open a dictionary. but first let me discuss the nature of my most recent foray into vitura tennis enthusiasm.
At this moment I am two challenges away from earning the last blaha blah blah joke time

this is not going to work. must. beat. virtua tennis.

http://www.historycooperative.org/journals/ahr/111.3/saler.html

Do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

I haven't watched the discovery channel in a while but i remember they use to run these funny ads back around the year 2000. Some guys dressed in mosquito costumes having terse, absurd conversation. Guys dressed as meteors, hanging from a string and yelling, "AAAhhh, the Atmosphere!" and bursting into flames. Here we go, Youtube giveth:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms0RtYGEhY4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5KKcBQen-Y

perpeciuous confinment

damn sons i am spent. i have no money i do have some u.s. eriod savigns bond.proababley a cupul.es hungey aor so. fucknig a i am closintg my else now and dont give a fuck i am druknds ands shith athsi ais becasue i am niethache or somehtinghtsn. blaahhhhhh imporntanced and warr war ea wars awar wars war war aman war blachalbalch blach blach balch colbert colbert war war what i sit good for.drinki tis iman idrnki ti uppu upu upu upu pu pupu p.what isd up sus sus you sus dams saon sthat is collllllll. fuck you ducker illlllllllll will fuschyou upu i fuck you eup. drive aboda adobe adobe adobe adove adob e adoabee aobve adobe adobe adobe adobe adboe ad b0oe. what realyyy hoooooood. bitrhc pendehosucker fucker son of a bitce abj brian cells losing sare dgone in the fworld world world sowld gone gone gone world gone dirnk dirinkn drink son drinks son drinkg.. gos waya i need alnd landl land land land landl landa lndalnldlandn lnad landa lanaldnlandlanldnalalndlqn. impokjntja asdnmand maven mavne solipsims msolipsims spin spin spin spin spin spin s snow snow snown glasss glass s dleldte dleldldte deletete deletedelette kerouac dfusucks ass asd gb0o boo boob booob bbooob boo bbooo bbooo boo bbooo boo boo bboo . go to mars boo go to wars waay kson son. fuck you pendejo mexico is god mecioox o is awesome fudes that is hte speace bar bar sapce bored bored fmnoey money money monye land land land money land money land money land pieg pig pig lamb pib pig lamdb you a wangster bithc w a wangster.

How not to play four square

A few summers ago after my sophomore year in college I was playing late night four square with some roommates under street light. We had been making the court in the parking lot regularly for about a month and later the complex brought in one of those oversize dumpsters with gates on one end for people to get rid of nasty furniture.

They put the dumpster a few feet off one of the baselines adding a new and exciting improvisational element to the game. Awesome factory eleven. It was turning out to be a heck of a summer.

Then, after holding the servers square for a prodigious amount of time I thought I should kick it up a notch and serve from on top of the rail of the dumpster. I tried to one hop the dumpster and when I put my foot down I caught only a portion of the rail. My knee cap couldn't support the weight, turned an exterior 90 degrees, and I went flailing into the furniture bin in flabbergasted, inflamatory leg pain.

Stuck in the dumpster and afraid to move my patella to its rightful position, my roommates called 911. Fourtunately, the dumpster wasn't too uncomfortable due said nasty furniture.

I’m pretty sure there were at least four emergency vehicles on the scene. The medics opened the gated side, removed furniture and cleared a path to carry me out on a stretcher.

On the ambulance ride to the ER my knee cap gloriously moved back into place thanks to a hastily constructed cardboard brace.

If there is a moral to be found here it is...

Do not play extreme four square in sandals.

no funny stuff

I went to a pizza place last night to grab some beer and some hilarity ensued.

So I've got a bottle of Newcastle, watching some sportscenter and my friend who works at the place notices some kid running through the strip mall parking lot at a surprisingly high speed. Then suddenly, this small tree gets all up in his grill.

A direct hit. Bam! Flowers litter the ground and the rent-a-cop is on the scene. Now every one in the pizza place is floored. The rent-a-cop calls in for backup, and another rent-a shows up to survey.

The kid is wearing all black and has long hair. Immediately our discussion ranges to potential drugs this kid may be on. Acid or mushrooms most likely. He seems to be convulsing some and is still on the ground next to the tree. A fire truck shows up. Then an ambulance. Then two local cops. Finally a state trooper.

The official vehicles have now tried to block off the scene to prevent pizza patrons from watching this fiasco. I walk around a bit to get a better view and the kid seems to be mumbling incoherently. Apparently he was able to get some information across because his mom shows up. She is completely dumbfounded upon arrival.

The cops dont stay to long. The ambulance is the last car there; the medics seem to be having some fun. A welcome break from deadly car crashes and shirtless rednecks oding on meth i'm sure. Sort of like when the fire truck showed up to pull me out of a dumpster in an unfortuate fort square accident.

wondering how to incorporate Rock, Paper, Scissors into everyday life

Nerds Ropes are the best candy to come out this decade

hows my drinking?

So ive deposted $200 of the $310 i won in vegas. im going to use this money to go to a lot of concerts in austin and houston in march. there are definitely going to be some good ones. tv on the radio, oasis, strokes, sxsw. good times in texas.

i just got back from the career fair on campus and talked to some coffee guild or something. i told them i was interested in the import export business. i also saw my friend jesse who works as a risk analyst and has a nice business card. i told him i should have brought some pictures from vegas of a certain beer bong.

i really wanted to find a good venture capital company but didnt manage to. i could do an internship in venture capital or import/export that would be legit.

i also smoked some true cali purple yesterday. its been a while. i didnt go out to bars or anything. im not spending much money at all. i went to guadalarjas, ill probably go again.

might go see tera melos tonight, maybe to the bay tomorrow.

ders no time!!!!

missing cds, presumed stolen

In alaphbetical order....

Air - Premiers Symptomes
Beatles - Abbey Road
Beatles - Let It Be
Blur - Great Escape
Blur - Leisure
Dismemberment Plan - "!"
Bob Dylan - Blood on the Tracks
Foo Fighters - Foo Fighters
Friends of Dean Martinez - Random Harvest
Grandaddy - The Sophtware Slump
Silver Jews - American Water
Sleater Kinney - One Beat
Neil Young - Greatest Hits

bummerrrr