On collecting, insult comedy and Joey Greco
Hey whats up its the internet. i know this because im on the internet.
maybe this post should be directed at recent college graduates who have decided, "oh, im very successful, im going to go to south america and have an adventure." Look assholes, you dont know how to adventure. it is a fine art. a delicate blend of time managament, preternatural saavy and instinct. you need the money. yeah thats true. im not talking nuevo riche money. so when youve fucked your 4th or 5th girl downthere, youre thinking, im doing something right. talk to me when you hit double digits, or can walk in to a club or restaurant and everyone knows your gringo po dunk name, all the girls get nervous around you and dudes are giving you lots of free drugs. yeah, youll probably hangout with some artistic french girls who are romantic as hell and are so fucking cute you could die, but fuck it, if youre on the subway system in a captial city with like 3 french girls and 2 dutch girls, just fucking get off a stop or two early with out saying good bye, and go get a 40 and watch some nba in an un airconditioned dive. that or go to hooters and pay overpriced prices for crap american barfare and talk to the hooters girls. better yet, go over to a cafe con piernas and grind with some toothless sluts.
maybe your idea of a good time or "adventure" is going to a museum and hanging out like 19th century german philologists, though it probably isnt. if it was i would probably tell you where to go in La Paz, Bolivia go fraternize with labor and government officials. no you go to the streets. not because your sluming it. but because you think its cool to act all poor and eat at the disease infested mercados. you proabably wont even go to bolivia because the new president is socialist and wears fucking leather jackets instead of dark or black suits. how cool is that guy by the way? he is the fucking man. you shouldnt stop at el alto either because your shit will get mugged. no doubt.
Even still you probably wont go to RIO!!!!!! definitely not, this being the best time of year to go there. no youll hang out with some young british couple on a nasty month long paid vacation because you are sick of running into american D bags and follow them around argentina. maybe youll go bungee jumping.
maybe youll befriend some Colombians, but you definitly wont go there. try to hang out with some fucking israelis, those guys are harder than any poor rural guerilla drug mob. oh and stay out of the pacific ocean. thats my fucking ocean.
i bet you dont even know how many knife hits joey greco took or who the fuck joey greco is. look, i know who it is. you may know how many knife hits he took but you dont know his fucking story. like where did joey greco grow up? did he have any brothers and sisters? who really is joey greco?
allright, we set there? you follow? now get your ass out of the united states before theres a draft suckus.
maybe this post should be directed at recent college graduates who have decided, "oh, im very successful, im going to go to south america and have an adventure." Look assholes, you dont know how to adventure. it is a fine art. a delicate blend of time managament, preternatural saavy and instinct. you need the money. yeah thats true. im not talking nuevo riche money. so when youve fucked your 4th or 5th girl downthere, youre thinking, im doing something right. talk to me when you hit double digits, or can walk in to a club or restaurant and everyone knows your gringo po dunk name, all the girls get nervous around you and dudes are giving you lots of free drugs. yeah, youll probably hangout with some artistic french girls who are romantic as hell and are so fucking cute you could die, but fuck it, if youre on the subway system in a captial city with like 3 french girls and 2 dutch girls, just fucking get off a stop or two early with out saying good bye, and go get a 40 and watch some nba in an un airconditioned dive. that or go to hooters and pay overpriced prices for crap american barfare and talk to the hooters girls. better yet, go over to a cafe con piernas and grind with some toothless sluts.
maybe your idea of a good time or "adventure" is going to a museum and hanging out like 19th century german philologists, though it probably isnt. if it was i would probably tell you where to go in La Paz, Bolivia go fraternize with labor and government officials. no you go to the streets. not because your sluming it. but because you think its cool to act all poor and eat at the disease infested mercados. you proabably wont even go to bolivia because the new president is socialist and wears fucking leather jackets instead of dark or black suits. how cool is that guy by the way? he is the fucking man. you shouldnt stop at el alto either because your shit will get mugged. no doubt.
Even still you probably wont go to RIO!!!!!! definitely not, this being the best time of year to go there. no youll hang out with some young british couple on a nasty month long paid vacation because you are sick of running into american D bags and follow them around argentina. maybe youll go bungee jumping.
maybe youll befriend some Colombians, but you definitly wont go there. try to hang out with some fucking israelis, those guys are harder than any poor rural guerilla drug mob. oh and stay out of the pacific ocean. thats my fucking ocean.
i bet you dont even know how many knife hits joey greco took or who the fuck joey greco is. look, i know who it is. you may know how many knife hits he took but you dont know his fucking story. like where did joey greco grow up? did he have any brothers and sisters? who really is joey greco?
allright, we set there? you follow? now get your ass out of the united states before theres a draft suckus.
posted by seamack at 10:33 PM
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